Great motivational talks are often delivered to a big audience, touching each individual as if the speaker was only talking to him or her.
How is this accomplished?
I believe that all of us have an inner drive, and for any message to connect, there must be clarity. Clarity is only achieved when both the speaker and listener share the common bond of “Know your why.”
Matthew McConaughey
The Oscar winner recently returned to his alma mater to give a motivational talk to the Texas Longhorns football team. In his brief comments, he shared the importance of asking himself his own why, and challenging the team to do the same.
His why is to work on the most forward edge of his potential as an actor, to a place where his mind did not even imagine his abilities taking him.
“I found that when I’ve done my best work as an a actor, it was only when I pushed myself to be better than I even thought I could do, and I’ve got a pretty high idea of how good I can be, I’m pretty self-confident with how good I can be. I still don’t think I’ve done do my best work until I push myself even further than I think I can be.”
His motivational talk to the Longhorns probed their motivation, and asked them to go deeper—to their individual motivation.
“Ask yourself why you are playing the game,” he urged. “In there, you’re gonna find the answer of why you play it whether you win or lose. Some of you may play because you love football, some of you may play for your grandmother, some of you may play for your older brother or your dad, some of you may play for the coaches, some of you may play for the university. At the end of the day, every single one of you really only has gotta be playing for one person. And I tell you what it does give you, it gets a whole lot more fun.”
Robert Griffin III
This powerful example is one I have covered in more depth. Rookie quarterback Robert Griffin III—or RG3, as the young superstar is known—faced the media two years ago at the Washington Redskins training camp. A local reporter noticed a simple statement posted on his locker: “KNOW YOUR WHY.”
“What’s that about?” he asked Griffin.
Griffin explained that each team member has to know his why and the why of the guys around him. If you have a why, he said, you are more willing to sacrifice for those around you because you know their purpose.
If you clarify the why, as Griffin and McConaughey know, you are tapping a collective force, not just an individual one. A why that involves a team’s specific, measurable goal is the glue that pushes all of them forward to achieve it.
Any Great Negotiator
One of the main drivers of any negotiation is the why. This goes to the heart of your motivation: your fear or desire surrounding a deal. While it seems simple, how many of us asked it of ourselves and can articulate the answer? In terms of negotiating, why are you doing this deal?
If you aren’t clear on the “why,” any negotiation will be slow and painful. This is a way of circling back to, and hopefully affirming, the information that you gathered in the first stages of negotiation, when you Set the Stage and Found Common Ground. Do you know your own why? The why of the other side?
Clarity helps us to connect with others and ultimately get the deal done or leave with the relationship intact. Clarity in negotiation and beyond guides what we say “yes” to and “no” to. It allows us to be intentional about where we spend our time and our energy when it comes to relationships, responsibilities, and negotiations.
Sometimes we have a tendency to drain our energy by investing in the wrong things and wrong people. Reaffirming the why at any stage of negotiation can help identify if that bad investment is happening. Clarity makes it easier to act with intention.
The takeaway
Knowing your why is important for success and also for an effective motivational talk. Your why grounds your identity and ownership of a goal. As McConaughey told his favorite football team, “When you do well, you feel it, you can look in the mirror and you go, ‘That’s right, I did that, I earned that.’” Knowing your why clarifies the “I.”
Molly Fletcher’s why is summed up in three words: “Inspire Game Changers.” She explores the power of knowing your why in her new book, “A Winner’s Guide to Negotiating: How Conversation Gets Deals Done” (McGraw-Hill), which draws on her decades as a sports agent and negotiator on behalf of pro athletes, coaches and broadcasters. Contact Molly here.
