Simply put, my dad is a badass. He is 78, plays multiple rounds of golf each day, or gets on his bike and rides 50 miles at a stretch. At his weakest, he suffered a heart attack after playing tennis one day, and I witnessed him pull through the pain and survive triple bypass surgery. As his only daughter, of course I think of him (especially this week leading up to Father’s Day) as bulletproof.
More important than my opinion is the value of his example for leadership—mine and yours. My father is a great role model for showing, not just telling, the best way forward. He is a leader through his actions, and that is the most influential type of leader. Here are his strengths that have meant the most to me.
1. His actions align with his values.
Dad grew up in Detroit, and his dad worked on the line for Chrysler while his mom worked as a nurse. Dad played football at Hillsdale College and then became a pharmaceutical sales rep. He was great at his job, but when promotions came that would have moved us to New Jersey, that was a quick no for him. Uprooting us for money didn’t fit my Dad. His family’s stability and consistent roots were foremost, and he modeled the power of belief for us.
2. He showed up.
He was and is always there for the moments that mattered. For me, it was competitive tennis, and he watched every one of my matches in junior tennis, high school and college.
He shows up for dialogues that matter. He’s a great listener, and doesn’t back down on giving advice when warranted. I learned so much this way. When I would lose a match I thought I should have won, Dad would sit beside me, rub my back and give me just the right amount of love for the situation. If I drowned in the loss too long, he would kick me in the butt and say, “Get over it.” It was more important to him to say and do what was right than to be liked.
3. His actions didn’t follow the crowd.
When I needed a car as a teenager, my parents bought me a big beat-up station wagon. My friends drove better by far. But my dad knew that heavy clunker would keep me safe driving in Michigan’s ice and snow. So what if it didn’t look great? It got the job done.
When cell phones and car antennas became popular, he responded by getting me a $5 plastic phone, and taped an “antenna” near the back window. When I pulled up to a light, next to a cute boy in a car, I picked up the plastic phone to impress him. That was dad’s sense of humor coming through.
4. He aimed for (and found) the sweet spot of interpersonal relationships.
I honestly think of my dad as a perfect dad. He knew just how much to push, how much to love, how much to work, how much to keep me and my twin brothers scared of him, how much to toughen up. He knew when to be soft, and how to find that challenging place between just enough and too much.
My childhood home has two big hills in the front and back yards. I would mow it with a push mower. He would tell me to do just the back yard, but if I got done and felt pretty good, he would tell me I had it in me to keep going.
And I did, and those times taught me the value of persistence and the satisfaction of extra effort in a job well done.
Your Game Changer Takeaway
My dad is a great example of discipline and focus. He likes effort, but I learned early and often that he likes results even more.
Now it’s your turn: What leader has shown you the best way forward through his or her actions? How can you be that kind of leader (or parent) today?
Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to lead well and with purpose. A keynote speaker and author, Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.
