As a parent of three young kids who travels almost every week, I love Mother’s Day because I’m usually home. Parents like me know that as the frequent flyer points rack up, so can guilt. How do you keep from going there?
Kids love stories, and the story of my airline points is one of inspiration. I want them to grow to pursue their unique passions and own their decisions. They are the heroes and audience for my stories as a traveling mom, and this might surprise you: my kids are the ones who benefit the most by my absence.
Without me traveling, they wouldn’t understand the stories they most need to hear their mom tell.
A personal itinerary
I’ve lost track of the thousands of miles I’ve flown since 1996, when I took my first business flight from Atlanta to Orlando for baseball’s spring training. The first big chunk of miles came as I built my career as a sports agent; the second as I pursue my passion as a speaker.
My kids have seen me work to integrate my career and home life. It wasn’t an either-or for me and it shouldn’t be for them, either. It’s “having it all” as I define it and not letting anyone else’s expectations interfere. This is what balance looks like for me. That’s what I want for them.
Changing planes
Life isn’t a straight line from Point A to Point B. My kids were born when I worked for a big firm and answered to many others. Now I run my own business. My points piled up as I followed my heart.
Sometimes that heart feeling made me change my flight pattern. I was in Miami on the second night of a work trip, preparing to head to Tulsa. I would connect through my hometown Atlanta for an hour. But I felt an urge to see my daughters, so I switched to an earlier flight. The spontaneity turned into a fun day pulling the girls out of school early for a surprise lunch, ice cream and bonding. As I went to sleep that night in Tulsa, my heart was full.
Fringe benefits
The points flow back to my kids in the form of special trips like going to the Rose Bowl. They’ve had a great time with relatives who flew in from Puerto Rico, compliments of my Delta SkyMiles.
Points have bought me family time, because I’ve cashed them in to hop on an earlier flight home. They’ve built goodwill for those who keep us going, too: I’ve traded points for small tokens of appreciation.
At their age, my kids don’t see the people who are touched when I travel. My work is to inspire people to live fully. Guilt sabotages personal development, and I work to help my audience shift thinking from “I should” to “ I can” and “I will.”
That can’t be measured in points.
Face time is everything
I travel because in my work, there’s no substitute for face time. Because I am gone so often, my family also places great value in face time. When we are together, we play sports and games and have special mother-daughter dates.
What my points don’t show are the many times I have declined opportunities– to attend the Super Bowl or fly across the world to speak, because my family’s schedule was more important. The balance of points doesn’t show the decisions made for greatest work-life balance.
Life gives our kids so many ways of making connections. As great as it is to cut out the distance through technology, the truest connection is made in person. My points represent that value: I go to make my most authentic connection with my clients, and I return fully present to my family.
Mom battery fully charged
Travel and work energizes me, and when I return from a trip, I am more focused and present than had I been home. The space gives me concentrated alone time to do my best thinking. Instead of serving others in my household, I have some moments of being served. These acts of grace do wonders for my spirit.
When I walk back into the house, I see myself as a slightly better wife and mother because I have worked with great intention to fulfill my life’s work. In that space, my children have learned to become more independent, and I feel the immense gratitude for a partnership with my husband that is filled with unconditional love and support.
I have moments of guilt like everyone, but in those moments I see choice. I choose to embrace the positives.
Sometimes guilt can come when we don’t see the freedom to choose. My points show my choices for work-life balance, and important lessons that my children hopefully will carry into their most important decisions—especially if they choose to be working parents who travel.
Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to lead well and with purpose. A keynote speaker and author, Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. You can follow her on Twitter @MollyFletcher.
