My golden tip for balancing work 
and personal life came as a crisis was brewing my first year in college. It came from the person who has been my role model for the longest time, who saw my imbalance well before I did.
These wise words helped ground me as I built a successful business, got married and had kids. This golden tip is particularly important for millennials, for whom work-life balance is critical.
Doing everything during the first college term
As a new student, I immersed myself into everything Michigan State had to offer. I played tennis, rushed a sorority and studied, pretty much in that order. At the end of the term, I was bubbling over when I went home. My parents’ house, where I had grown up, was all of two miles from campus.
Standing in the entryway, I excitedly told my mom how much fun I was having with the girls in my sorority and how great I was hitting the tennis ball.
“Wow, sounds great, Molly,” my mom said, casually. “Sounds like you have it all. Can you have it all at once?”
I bounced back to campus, where her words echoed loud and strong a few weeks later. My first term ended with a 1.8 grade-point average.
It was embarrassing and humbling. I could not fully join my sorority and was on the edge of being ineligible to compete in tennis. Trying to have it all had compromised my central purpose: to get a great education.
I was way out of balance.
Finding the sweet spot
Rebounding was up to me—that much was clear by the way my parents treated me. They didn’t punish or reprimand me. They didn’t make it their issue. The grades spoke louder than they could. Their message was simple: “You’re better than that.”
I quickly determined to fix the mess as quickly as possible. I doubled down on studying and came to know the library as my great friend.
For the next seven terms, I aced my classes, a 4.0 every term. Quickly my GPA jumped and soon it was well above 3.5. Better grades meant I no longer had to worry about tennis or social opportunities. I had options and greater balance.
The Golden Tip
“Can you have it all at once?”
That question still rings for me. I’m so grateful for my mom’s comment. It led me to my understanding of work-life balance. Today my answer is, “You can have it all, but not all at once.”
As you’re starting out building your career and personal life, there will be imbalance.
Early in my career as a sports agent, I worked 24/7. For a decade, I said yes—all the time. My clients didn’t know what my voice mail sounded like. This was what was required to outwork the competition. A rock-solid foundation like that gives you options.
When I married and had children at 32, I had much more ability to say no. I had more clarity on what I did well, what I could delegate and whose call I absolutely needed to take. Clarity leads to balance, and helps you see more options. (This is true for many of my best college friends, who gather every fall for a girls’ weekend—maintaining our deep friendships is part of our work-life balance.)
Today I can say with gratitude that my wants and needs are in equilibrium. This would not have been possible without recovering from adversity quickly and accepting that finding balance required a ton of hard work. No one can or will give you work-life balance.
Your Game Changer Takeaway
Only you can define your ideal work-life balance and finding that sweet spot requires sacrifice and hard work. Consistent delivery of top service is a great foundation for business success and leads to options for greater work-life balance. As I learned from my mom’s well-timed question in the threshold of my childhood home, you can have it all—just not all at once.
Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to lead well and with purpose. A keynote speaker and author, Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.
